New Loves

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Lily: All Grown Up

So Lily is officially a year old. Wow, I can’t believe it’s been that long already. I’m sad to say she is still not potty trained. Despite my efforts to keep her on a schedule and take her out to pee at various times, she continues to come inside for pooping and peeing purposes. I’ve tried almost everything, from smacking her to catching her in the act, to dragging her to the correct spot; I’ve bought Pee Pee Pads and the urine scent to spray on it; I’ve got treats, toys, beds, you name it. She’s driving me crazy, but I love her. If I had known having a dog was going to be this difficult I would’ve gotten my sugar glider back. RAWR! Lol I guess it’s not all that important.


June 18, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

I have the cutest puppy ever…


Well except for the part she eats her own poop. 

June 26, 2008 Posted by | Step Up | 2 Comments


I want a puppy or rather just a pet. Something to love, squeeze, and care for. I can’t handle my own life right now, but I do love little critters. I wouldn’t mind a kitty. If my sister and mother weren’t so ridiculously allergic it might have actually been a possibility. So, I’m looking for a little cutie who will live happily in my room. So it’s somewhere between long coated chihuahuas, yorkies, malteses, or toy poodles. Any advice? ❤

May 18, 2008 Posted by | Step Up | 2 Comments

Help me. Please?

The world is filled with beauty and wonder and, yet hundreds of thousands of millions of people have and will continue to die from natural disasters or diseases. Yet, I’m still alive. I have IBS; big deal I poop a lot or just don’t. There are people much less fortunate than I.  Yet, I find myself asking, “Why me?” There are those who wish death upon themselves, death of their minds and bodies, but to no avail are stuck in the complexity of their minds. My mind is torn. Every time I catch a glimpse of the free spirit that I would one day hope to be, I am flooded with emotions, and left wondering how many breaths it’ll take to get there. It’s overwhelming. Indeed there are ways to get there. There are books, therapists, and most importantly faith in God and his presence in your life. So why me? Why am I trapped in this insanity? Like most super heroes who do not understand that it is their fate to shape this earth, I too search desperately for an answer. My growth is limited thus far by my inability to move on from my past and remove all negativity from my future. Oh, how I wish to disappear or find a way to erase all of my past memories. Is ignorance really bliss? Isn’t it my awareness of my problems that causes me such dwelling sadness? My dependence to this world has me feeling even more indecisive. This insight splits me in half. I know not whether tomorrow is really a brighter day. Nothing is really pointing that way and yet it’s the only thing that keeps me going. I have no faith in myself, but God does. I have prayed to die. Then in near death experiences I have prayed for guidance to get better. I prolong death; it’s an uber scary scary thought. There is no such thing as a perfect death; seeking it only makes things worse. I’m aware there’s something more to this than I thought there would be. I never pictured a future for myself. Call it self-sabotage. I can’t think of it being anything but. 

May 18, 2008 Posted by | Sorting it Out | 2 Comments